Remembrance
by ButcherBlues
Summary: In the end, I still fail to let you go. Not that I don’t want to, because God knows how much I want to forget sometimes. I just don't know how. A Naruto/Sakura songfic.


**Author's note:** This is my first Naruto fic. The second story I've written so far, if you want to bother with technicalities. I wasn't able to have this pre-read, as I have nobody to ask. But I did try my best to check for grammatical or spelling errors. If still I missed a few, I apologize in advance. Anyway, I wrote this fic the first time I heard "You Could be Happy by Snow Patrol" a month ago. I consider it a Clana song (as in Clark Kent and Lana Lang of Smallville, for the uninformed) but I figured I could make it into a NaruSaku fic as well. I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Words in Bold and Italic – exerts from the song previously mentioned.  
Words in Italic – memories

**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.

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**Remembrance**

_By ButcherBlues_

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_**You could be happy and I won't know**_

_**But you weren't happy the day I watched you go**_

With the usual grin on your face, I watched you turn your back to leave. I didn't see it then. But time lends perspective. And now, as I look back, all I can see are your eyes. And the pain reflected in them as you bade me goodbye… to fulfill your promise of a lifetime.

I wanted to stop you then, terrified for your safety. But I also wanted you to go and save him. Because I know only you could. But I missed to tell you, don't bring him back for me. Not anymore. Bring him back for us.

_**And all the things that I wished I had not said, **_

_**are played on loops 'till it's madness in my head**_

You didn't know it then, but when both of you walked through the gates of Konoha, both battered and bruised, but soft smiles on your faces, it was you I saw first. It was your image, breathing and alive, that made me break into a run.

Time stood still when all three of us finally stood face to face. For Sasuke, that very moment was an offer for a new beginning. But for you and me, it turned out to be an end of something that hasn't even begun. And I could've stopped it, only I didn't. I didn't know I was the one supposed to.

As they moved to carry both of you for immediate medical treatment, I saw you linger. Saw the question burning in your eyes. You tried to hide it, but I sensed your fear. You felt it then, didn't you? The end of us.

I realize now that the words I left unsaid at that moment hurt you more than the teasing and belittling I threw your way during our academy days.

Pathetic as it is, I talk to an old photograph of you. Saying the things I wish I did that day. Hoping that I'll be given the chance to say them to you, and not just to a wrinkled picture I keep. It's too late, I know. But at least I can tell myself during the times when the pain caused by regret is almost unbearable, that I've tried. Despite everything, I still continued loving you, and that would have made you proud of me, wouldn't it?

If you knew.

_**Is it too late to remind you how we were?**_

_**But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur…**_

Sasuke's returned, and so you felt the need to step back. But you failed to notice the small forward steps I've been taking myself. I guess that was my fault too, huh? I never made an attempt to tell you. But I thought that that was your place. You should've fought for me, never to back down. That was supposed to be your way of ninja, wasn't it? You didn't have to turn your back, I was running towards you after all.

Baka.

How was I to tell you that I was falling, that I needed you desperately? How should one unearth the depths of a feeling frightening in it's intensity without burning in the process? But then again, you never really come out of it unscathed, do you?

Burnt and broken, it shouldn't have mattered. You would have made it all worth it.

_**Most of what I remember makes me sure,**_

_**I should have stopped you from walking out the door.**_

_**You could be happy, I hope you are.**_

_**You made me happier than I'd been by far.**_

Sakura-chan, you would say. The sound of your voice has always made me smile. The way my name rolls off of your tongue as if it's the most precious thing in the world. I guess it was… at that time, right? But now, I'm not so sure.

I remember that day when you caught me talking alone with Shikamaru. I was to deliver a medical list to his father, an errand for Tsunade-sama.

'That's terrible, Sakura-chan. You won't even go on a date with me', you have said, mistaking our meeting for a date. As if I needed your permission to go on one, or that I wasn't allowed to go out with anyone but you.

And you probably didn't notice then, the implications of what I said or _didn't say_, since all else was drowned out by your endless grumbling of my name. I did give you a scolding, but for jumping to the wrong conclusions, not for the obvious possessiveness you showed with your sudden outburst. I think it started then. It was around that time that I got so used to your presence that I didn't think I needed to correct the impression you and your childish behavior were creating for others – an impression that I was tied to you and nobody else.

During missions, on rare occasions that you're not by my side, I try my best to keep my battle wounds to a minimum. Well aware that even a single scratch on me would worry you endless. Before you, I engaged in battles without fear of death, as any ninja should. But you turned me into somewhat of a coward, making me love life so much.

From simply not caring to desperately needing, your displays of affection have sustained me.

_**Somehow everything I own smells of you.**_

_**And for the tiniest moment it's all not true.**_

I stare at the large 'Noodle' orange poster at the far corner of my room. I remember you giving it to me, among others things you offered to your self-proclaimed legion of admirers composed of Konohamaru and two others. It was right after you were declared ANBU. You felt that since you were now of a higher rank, you needed to dispose of the old stuff from your apartment, declaring that only things worthy of a future Hokage should occupy your room. I finally allow myself a small smile in remembrance.

In an effort to take pleasure in the warmth that single memory brings, I close my eyes. With my vision obscured, I allow my heart to see…

"_I see you've kept this poster, ne, Sakura-chan? Well you should, it would be of great value once I become Hokage. It isn't everyday somebody is given a memento of the great Uzumaki Naruto!"_

"_I won't run away anymore... I won't go back on my word... that is my ninja way"_

"_I'll bring him back for you, Sakura-chan! That's a promise of a lifetime."_

As I open my eyes, forcing myself to detach from illusions of you, I feel a cool breeze breathe pass me. I lean towards it, feeling it touch my cold lips, imagining it to be your lips upon mine… In the end, I still fail to let you go. Not that I don't want to, because God knows how much I want to forget sometimes.

Yes.

I want to forget and finally move on. I just don't know how.

_**Do the things that you always wanted to.**_

_**Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.**_

_**More than anything I want to see you go**_

_**Take a glorious bite out of the whole world**_

Standing in the crowd, I listen to them cheer for you. I would to, if I didn't feel so damn weakened by finally being able to see you again. So this is when all your dreams finally come true, huh? I knew you would become Hokage, I never once doubted you. I watch you carefully scan the mass of people cheering you on, trying your hardest to smile at everyone, making it your first mission as Hokage to show the people of Konoha your gratitude at their support.

Then your eyes fell on mine.

I took that rare opportunity to look at you. _Really_ look at you. A wistful smile on your face, you look as handsome as ever. I realized then that from a stranger's point of view, both of us are still the same. Nothing really much has changed since you walked through the village gates with Sasuke in tow. But of course, I know the truth. Maybe you do, too. Everything has changed that day. Because if I just said the things I wanted to say now.

You would've been mine.

"_I'm gonna be Hokage someday. Believe it!"_

I did.

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**Extra A/N: **I plan to write a second part to this one, only in Naruto's POV. But I give no guarantees, I'm pretty much swamped with school works right now.

Review?


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